Poems On Personal Transformation
by Alison Stormwolf
This collection of poetry by Alison Stormwolf is about personal transformation and self-realization.
We never fully realise how far we have travelled unless we look back and take stock. Personal transformation is usually a costly business. Many of my dear friends have had to pay the costly price to evolution. Real growth only ever takes place against a background of trial. It's no good wanting to be spiritual whilst denying the suffering involved in the transition.
There is huge joy and inner peace to be found even in the midst of personal challenges. The empathy and authentic power you then embrace can never be bought for any amount of money. Those who know this have to laugh at the ways of the world, up until these transformational times, where success and failure were hinged on material wealth.
Many poets and artists died in dire poverty and were cruelly unaware of the gifts they left to mankind. We were not born to live in poverty... we were born into natural abundance. Not the greed and structurally imposed class distinction that has endured for centuries.
We are being called individually to self transformation in the knowledge that what anyone does affects the rest of humanity. (For we are all connected) These are times of great change, empowerment and wonder. My poems along these lines are all from direct personal experience. I hope some may encourage you onwards...
Caveat to this page many years later.... These poems are written from a 'mind-stream perspective rather than a poetry perspective. I could have re-vised them, in keeping with being more precise... but their power (I feel) is in their raw simplicity.
Put with my treasures, safely away
Gone, gone, gone is my past
Buried in deep earth, buried at last
Give me a new song, one with great joy
Give me a new heart, that none can destroy
Wake me with gladness, rock me with love
Shelter me always, beautiful dove
Spirit of new birth, spirit of power
Come, Holy Spirit, enter this hour
Never forsake me, never let go
I am your daughter,
Let your light show.
What they did not realise was
This was not a line she chose to cross
Nor one that bothered her,
Deep in her soul
For that line was her freedom
From all that she had been made to feel
She could never achieve…no, not her!
Oh! What a long path she had travelled
What demons she has wrestled with along the way
Never short of confirmation from the other side
That this was all her fault
In agony of spirit she has called out
To her God and her 'mother' to somehow
Penetrate her inner being, understand the turmoil
That drove her to want to take her life...
The silence was deafening,
The prayers fell
On arid ground for she had become a burden
An embarrassment, a failure, not "conventional"
So, she took these things into her wounded heart
And many dark nights she endured,
Then they drew that precious line in the sand
Between life and death,
success or failure
Acceptance or possible ridicule
And her heart almost broke out of her chest
So powerful was the affirmation,
SO profound the knowledge
"Your path is not their path
Your sky is not their sky
Nor your world their world
Although you share in that
Matrix of dreams"
And the universe unfolded
And she saw with new eyes her kinv Not born of this world
But birthed in the spirit
And her heart shape-shifted
Into a mighty eagle
As it soared away
and the stars laughed
And welcomed her home...
or the cosy fireside chats of loving family
No, my strength was to be hewn out of stark rock faces
and cold lonely January nights, where what once was
tormented me like a recurring tune
in a fragmented mind
A haunting of the corridors
of my awakening......
Our human-ness calls out for mercy
while The Creator manifests our trials
and weeps and wills us the strength to overcome
That which our over soul has set before us
That sacred contract, of which we have no recollection;
That often searing pain
of the universal cautering iron
That healing, transformational tool
So dreaded by those who know it
My strength was not to be found in talk or inflated ideas
It was burned into my bones by desperation
and worse by far....
endless agonising introspection
Stripping myself down to carcass level
(and then some more)
Opening my bones to the sun
Exposing my dreams to the moon
Crying out to deep dark space
a new skeleton
built to last
I can function
and 'heal' both ways
In my new attire
with 'care holes'
And some times I think forwards
sometimes my thinking slays me
And some times I just think
Of what a painful process
Or a powerful process
Or a transformational process
It is to think.
But my thoughts become dis-credited
And I do not see the 'ink master'
Who infuses many thoughts in colour
Or sometimes just in black and white
Sometimes I become entangled
In my own lifelines of caring
I am only human
and the ocean is so powerful
Those deep and dark currents,
Hard to ride;
But I know my friends are with me
As I struggle though those weed beds
For I see their light a shining
So I know that I am going
In the way my Father wants me
Some of us will walk on the air
And some of us will swim the seas
And some of us will walk the worlds
Some of us will dreams their dreams
Some of us will 'just think'
So the Cosmic Master takes us
As the family that we are
And he shakes us like a tree
To release those hard won windfalls
As He takes us to His heart.
And we share our hard won trophies
So be yielding to His winds of force
Be grateful to His storms of transformation
For little grows under a constant sun
There is so much beauty in the old tree
Compared to one whose journey has begun.
To your inner Holy one.
We dance upon this earth
For just a fleeting second
Can our song be heard
Oh give me such sweet notes
Such melodies and steps
That always will my path remain
For those I leave behind... For time is fleet of foot
And my dance has just begun
Yes, I stumbled blindly
And my strangled voice
Reverberated damp caves
Echoing my endless
But I have a new tune now
A Power song...and Spirit dance
So, in the days to come
I am to be found
In every new red dawn
Until my time
From this cloying, dead cocoon,
Wet and squashed, into the sun
There I'll rest while gentle heat
Dries my ugly, crumpled form
Lie, until the change complete
Slowly, as my wings unfold
Brilliant colours are exposed
Vibrant shades of blue and gold.
Then I'll stretch my wings to fly
Flutter upward to the light
Off into the azure sky
How I yearn for that delight!
Never to return or care for
Empty shell still hanging there.
Born anew from what was dead
Floating on in summer air
Jeweled, gossamer wings are spread.
Free at last to swoop and dive
Joyfully and SO alive.
Therefore I cannot be dismissed
As one who tried and failed
Some sad victim of fate I am not yet dead
For I feel the life blood surging
Deep inside this neglected body
This abstract work of art
I am not yet dead
So while the breath rises in me
And the urge to write remains
So, too will my heart contract
I am not yet dead
Though almost dead have I been
Still the wraith wandered in my dreams
Prompted me onwards
Though my hope was almost gone
I am not yet dead.
One day I may emerge
Come out of my cave
And realise like a grizzly bear
I have given birth
To a new me a new way of being
And seeing and reacting So my months / years in hibernation were
Not really death
Although death to me it surely felt
Death to my dreams
For I have been too long
On the verges of the forest
I am no longer the lone wolf
The dancer with the mask
I need to reveal myself to someone
Before I explode
With unfinished charts
I am nobody but a beggar
And life has taken away those trinkets
Which I thought could at one time
Buy me grace
my heart is beating
and there is blinding light
Though for what I do not know
And I type where my fingers
Tell me to go
So I for once